The 4 ways to respond to triggers

If there’s one thing that’s certain in life, it’s that events will unfold, and some of them will trigger us. But the degree to which these triggers will affect us (and the circumstances that follow) will vary wildly depending on how we choose to respond to them.

So let’s quickly define what we mean by a ‘trigger’. Quite simply, it’s an event that causes (triggers) a strong negative emotional reaction in you, most commonly anger, fear, shame, guilt, etc. Generally speaking, triggers stem from a negative experience that you had in the past (and weren’t able to fully feel at the time) which the new event reminds you of. Hence, it brings up the old emotional pain into the present moment.

What are the different ways we can respond to triggers, and which is the most effective approach?

1. React

Arguably the most common response and, sadly, the most destructive. Reacting to a trigger is the subconscious attempt to shut down the unpleasant experience as quickly as possible.

That could mean responding with anger, i.e., fighting fire with fire in the hope the other person backs down. Or it could mean running from the experience and using an external vice (food, drink, drugs, people) to make yourself feel better.

In the long run, this response will cause the most emotional pain for both yourself and anyone else involved. It generates even more negativity and more separation between yourself and others.

It is a product of the unconscious mind responding on autopilot. Unfortunately, this also makes it very hard to break away from, as it often works in the short term, and we’ve had so many experiences of it ‘working’ – which then reinforces the behavior.

2. Suppress

The next approach that’s often favored if reacting to an event isn’t a viable option or if there is an internal judgment of any reactivity, is suppression. This is where we don’t allow the emotion to rise up and instead push it back down.

This can cause temporary relief, and it at least keeps the negative emotion inside. But at some point, that emotion is going to want to come back up, and will likely return with a much more explosive reaction than any individual event might cause.

Alternatively, it can lead to some kind of physical illness as a result of the internal stress on the body.

3. Accept

Acceptance is a big jump up from the previous two approaches, as it requires a degree of awareness that enables one to see what is going on both externally and internally.

We can recognise that we don’t like the triggering event and don’t want it to happen, but we accept that it has happened and stop ourselves from reacting or suppressing.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t do much to prevent that same event from triggering us again in the future and keeps us in the old mindset of hoping things will unfold a certain way for us to be okay.

4. Feel & Release

By far the most effective approach, the ability to feel and release allows us to use the trigger as a way to free ourselves from our old emotional scars.

This approach not only requires a high degree of presence and awareness but also an intention to grow internally and be willing to go through the short term discomfort of feeling the emotion. Knowing that longer term comfort lies on the other side. And it is only through experiencing it, will you know that to be true.

How does one ‘feel and release’?

When an event triggers a negative emotion in you, the first thing is to recognize it for what it is. Then, when appropriate, locate it in the body and feel it deeply (without any judgment or mental narrative around it) and continue to do so until it passes through – much easier said than done.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t take any action and remove ourselves from unpleasant people or situations, but instead, it prevents us from keeping any negative experiences inside as emotional scars.

From my previous experience, deeply triggering events need to happen multiple times in different ways for the old emotion to be fully released, but the feeling of love, joy, and peace that comes after is always worth it.

In time, this approach builds confidence that one can return to that lovely state without having to rely on external vices. And therefore, will ultimately set you free.

How does this relate to one’s health & fitness?

Well, as a Personal Trainer in Hove, I see how reacting to triggers causes so much suffering and prevents people from making progress both physically and mentally.

For example, if an event sends someone into a negative state and they don’t know how to feel their way through it, they are less likely to go to the gym that day and train effectively. It also means they are more likely to make poor food choices as a way to make themselves feel better.

So until someone becomes aware of their trigger responses, brings an alert awareness to them, and then learns how to feel and let them pass through, it’s likely the same patterns will continue to repeat themselves time and time again.

Have you considered hiring a PT?

If you’re frustrated with your progress in the gym or with your eating habits and want to make lasting changes by working with someone who understands the nature of the human mind as well as the body, book a free taster session with us today and get started. I’ve no doubt your future self will thank you for it.